Glorious Eighty Years Young

Letters to our father, Mr. S.D.Bhasin, written by his teacher,   at Benaras Hindu University. in the year 1943 Advice that is pertinent even today!! June 6, 1943 Regarding your search, I have only one thing to say, look for a heart and not for a body. If you can get both in one, consider yourself extraordinarily lucky. But many young-men can hardly judge young women. It is a supreme test of your intuition and your intelligence. Quite often girls who are outspoken, whom people sometimes miscall forward, are very sound at heart. Girls who flirt or connive at flirtation will be found worthless, in that sense a forward girl will be no good. Sometimes, or rather quite often, girls who are otherwise quiet and look like ‘budhoos’ (only look like them) are very intelligent and they know their job. Mind you have to win a heart and it is no joke to do so. I am no believer in love at first sight. It is very, very rare. More often one or the other heart falls to the b...

Where has the saree gone? It is true - saris seem to have vanished from the dressing scene. Any parties you go to, there may be just one lady wearing a saree - probably me! Everyone else is either in a suit or in pants. Except for weddings - where the saree makes a fabulous appearance, all my friends and acquaintances seem to have locked their sarees into old stores somewhere, only to be aired on marriage occasions, and then sent into hibernation again. Personally I find a saree the most graceful national dress in the world. It looks so good, it swirls and it sways, it wraps around with such grace and shimmer, and it comes in every color and shade possible. Can we say that of a suit? Sarees should never go out of fashion, but unfortunately it seems to have happened! Is there are any other dress that can be borrowed so easily. Get a blouse and petticoat that fits you and borrow your friend or your sister's saree, and you are set to woo the world. If you have great figure -...

Holidays in the US generally follow a standard mode. There is a lot of eating out, an inordinate amount of time spent at Macy's and Target, and of course above all, just sitting around with Anu and Will. But this time there were two unique occasions, or three to be exact which left some memories behind, and made the day or night for me. Hurricane Irene - there was so much noise about it - - everyone seemed to be preparing for a total devastation of their areas. there was so much discussion about the speed of the winds, the probable lack of electricity, the problems that may occur. Maybe it was was an overload of information, but to some extent it was better than the Indian attitude of let us see what will happen, and of  "chalta hai, sab theek ho jayega". We also went out and bought a lot of ready to eat food - which would not need the microwave, a lot of torches were put in strategic places and candles and matches came out of the cupboards. At 2 am I woke up and sat ...

The euphoria of the victory of the so-called common man, and the jubilation with which we have greeted the formation of the new team, has made me pause and think about the implications of this whole process. Will we really achieve a great deal with this Lokpal Bill, if it ever comes into existence?  Can corruption levels really be brought down just by the passing of a new law or regulation? And above all, if a new bill does come into effect are we not concentrating too much power in the hands of a few people? What if they turn out to be corrupt? Who will bring them under control? Corruption is so much a part of our lives that we have ceased to raise an eyebrow or even utter a protest if someone asks us to pay them extra for just doing something that is a part of their job. If they do not ask us for any money we are surprised; if we want them to do our jobs faster and more efficiently then we automatically offer them money; and we try to wriggle out of difficult situations by...

Do Rituals and Ceremonies really matter? Do they signify anything? Or are their origins lost in the annals of time and we just follow them religiously or as tradition demands without understanding the whys and the wherefores?  While attending a "kriya" ceremony for a cousin's husband, I was wondering about the reasons behind these ancient rituals and whether the next generation or the one after them will slowly let them just die a natural death. Here are some of the ones which I can understand and which to me are important and significant: Rakhi & Tikka - It is much more than the tying of a band and giving and receiving a gift. At my daughter's wedding when she asked the priest why "mamas"- (my brothers) were such an important part of the ceremonies, then he told her that this was an extension of the promise they make to their sisters during Rakhi and Tikka. They tell their nieces and nephews that as we have promised to take care of your mother, ...