Glorious Sixty Year Olds

For all those who have ever had a mammogram done - this must bring back memories!!!!! And for those who have never had one done - do not get scared - you need it - go and get one done !!! GO GET YOUR MAMMIES GRAMMED For years and years they told me, Be careful of your breasts. Don't ever squeeze or bruise them. And give them monthly tests. So I heeded all their warnings, And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully, And I always wore my bra. After 30 years of astute care, My gyno, Dr Pruitt, Said I should get a Mammogram "OK," I said, "let's do it." "Stand up here real close" she said, (She got my boob in line), "And tell me when it hurts," she said, "Ah yes! Right there, that's fine." She stepped upon a pedal, I could not believe my eyes! A plastic plate came slamming down, My hooters in a vise! My skin was stretched and mangled, From underneath my chin. My poor boob was being squashed, To Swedish Pancake t

Having reached the 'venerable' age of sixty and loving it, I thought I would get some other ladies and gents to share their thoughts with me. I am from New Delhi, a retired stockbroker and suddenly I am a senior citizen!!. I don't remember getting older - but the world seems to enjoy reminding me of that fact in various ways. I remember thinking that anyone over the age of 50 really was an old fogey and then the age become sixty and now it is 90 years old. I enjoy swimming, going to the gym, dancing and wearing jeans and tee-shirts. But then so do all my friends. Our bones do creak when we get up suddenly, and now we look for shoes that are comfortable rather than smart. Our pants have to adjust to growing paunches, our hips - well we really wish we could ignore their growing size - but they seem to have a will of their own. But aside from all that - what are the advantages of reaching here ? Our homes run efficiently - years of practice - of course. Our grandchildr

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE KIDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's !! First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking . As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank soda pop with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight because...... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYI

Julie Andrew's 69th birthday song To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was " My Favorite Things" from the legendary movie Sound Of Music. Here are the lyrics she used: Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting, Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, Bundles of magazines tied up in string, These are a few of my favorite things. Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses, Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses, Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, These are a few of my favorite things. When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, When the knees go bad, I simply remember my favorite things, And then I don't feel so bad. Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions, No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions, Bathrobes and heating pads and hot

This has been making the rounds of our emails for some time now. It aptly describes what we are feeling - thanks a lot Mr. George Carlin GEARGE CARLIN'S VIEW ON AGING Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions. "How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead. "How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME = 21. YESSSS!!! But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes